Last night I dreamt of pregnancy. Over and over again.

Obviously, this wasn’t a literal dream, as I had a hysterectomy almost 4 years ago. But pregnancy can also be interpreted symbolically to mean being on the verge of creating something new. It’s very creative and brings to mind producing or ‘giving birth’ to something huge and personal.

Normally, I would write weird dreams like this in my other blog, but this one just screamed ‘Hey Amie, you’re on the verge with your writing, GET TO IT!’

There were other things about the dream that were interesting.. Phantom and my mother, sister, grandparents, and aunt and uncle were there. They were kind of chatfering in the background, patiently waiting while I tossed and turned in the hoapital bed. There were 3 sets of people who came and lifted my gown to see how I was doing.. All said something along the lines of ‘Yep, she’s ready any time now.’.

The first two were a doctor and nurse pair, and both pairs were very goth and interesting.. They seemed like the kind of people I would want to know, because they just had good/weird juju about them. The third was a single man, large, stern, and with a strange, pocked face.. He just nodded very seriously, almost as if he was judging me for not just getting on with it.

When my second goth doctor/nurse pair came in, I also noticed that blackberries were growing down through a grate in the ceiling. When I looked up, everything was green and lush and beautiful, and the blackberries were huge and shiny. They looked delicious. Blackberries are a symbol of harvest time. They become ripe around the time of Lughnassadh, which is the first of the 3 pagan harvest festivals. And I can see how finishing a project could be compared to harvesting too. You’re finally reaping the rewards of your hard work. It’s also a time of joy and celebration. At any rate, I have a beautiful tarot card with the pregnant empress surrounded by blackberries that needs to be placed next to me as I write and/or do art..

The other thing I noticed is that I wasn’t hurting much at all. I just felt vaguely uncomfortable and expectant. I asked the doctors and nurses, and they assured me that that was normal..

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Last night, I also got a lot of praise on the wand I made for Mom. I still feel guilty taking any compliments for it, since it wasn’t my original idea. But it was nice that people liked it.. Mom’s friend kept saying ‘So what?? You could make thousands on Etsy with that..’. But that just seems like hideously bad karma to me. When I have an original idea, I’ll try to pursue something. As it is, I’m going to re-post some wish boxes I made a long time ago. They’re just sitting in a closet right now.

I still don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, but I’m wondering if I could keep up with a goal of writing something every day. I just wrote this blog, so I can check that off the list today.. We’ll see how it goes.. Even if it’s just a sentence, at least I would be progressing.